what if i fall (i won't let you fall)
by xxCallMeAmyxx
Summary: ron and hermione and building each other up again/for ql


**For the Quidditch League**

 **Puddlemere United, Chaser 3 - write a theme you've never written before (restoring a marriage)**

 **Optional prompts: 1. "Your silence scares me."; 4. Divorce; 6. The Fighter - Keith Urban**

 **1227 words**

 **Betaed by June**

* * *

Hermione looked over at Ron, and it was slightly depressing. It had only been a few weeks ago when Ron had swept her off of her feet and told her that _he loved her_.

"Miss Granger?"

Hermione was jolted out of her thoughts by her name. She looked up at the wizard – Jarvis, a tall wizard who worked with her in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.

It was a little embarrassing to have her coworker here, but he patted her hand softly, as if he knew what she was going through.

Part of that made her mad, though. How could _he_ know what she was going through?

"Do you think we should have Rose and Hugo here?" Ron asked, glancing at Hermione. She understood his way of thinking – it was a family thing that happening – but something wanted it to be _just them_. Their marriage started out without their children.

It should end without them, too.

"No," she responded shortly. She loved her children, she really did, but she couldn't bear the thought of having them here. They already endured so much fighting from Ron and Hermione. They knew what was happening; they weren't idiots. They'd get bored from all the paperwork anyway.

Hermione had a moment of hesitation as she looked through the rest of the papers. What if this was wrong? She had been so sure that it would be better for them to end it, but now she was scared that she was making the wrong choice.

"'Mione, you okay?" Ron asked, looking over at her. She internally cringed at his use of her nickname. Didn't he know that he had lost the right to use that nickname when they had decided to get a divorce? "Your silence scares me," he added. He slowly reached out a hand, as if he was about to touch her arm, but he snapped it back.

 _Good_ , Hermione thought, biting her tongue.

"The last time you were silent…" Ron trailed off, and Hermione knew what he meant. The last time she was silent, they had slowly stopped communicating, and their marriage had fallen apart.

Which led to now.

"I'm fine, Ronald," she said, trying to keep calm.

The truth is, she _wasn't_ fine. Was Ron fine? She doubted it. How could either of them be _fine_? Something in her was whispering in her ear. It told her that everything she was doing was wrong. She felt so _unhappy_ with him, but she was scared that she would feel so unhappy without him.

Ron opened his mouth, about to say something, but he quickly closed it.

"Can we speak outside for a moment, 'Mione?" he asked, opening his mouth again. Hermione noticed that his eyes flicked over to Jarvis before drawing back to Hermione.

"I suppose," Hermione said, biting her tongue a little bit harder. Jarvis gave them a small, sad smile as the two of them got up. Hermione smoothed down her skirt as they walked outside. She didn't know why she felt so _nervous_. Was it because she was being alone with Ron? That was a ridiculous feeling, though; she had spent plenty of time alone with him. This was all the same.

"I'm not sure about this, 'Mione," he started, but Hermione held up a hand.

"Don't call me 'Mione, Ronald," she told him. The words tasted slightly bitter on her tongue, but she _needed_ to tell him that. 'Mione was a name for him to use when they _loved_ each other.

Was that love there now?

Ron bit his lip, but nodded, brows furrowed.

"I'm not sure about this," he repeated. Hermione looked him up and down, taking him in. He was slowly shifting from foot to foot, looking nervous, and his hands were twitching. He looked almost pitiful in her eyes. "I still love you," he whispered to her.

Hermione clenched her jaw, fears pouring over her again. Why was she so _weak_? Why did it take four words to _break her_? She thought this would be better for them – maybe they could be friends again, just like they were in Hogwarts if the romance was erased. She thought that she was _done_ with him.

They spent so many fights arguing about getting a divorce and now that they were _finally_ about to start the process…

Merlin, Hermione wanted to punch Ron sometimes. He was so _frustrating_. It was as if he always knew what she wanted and then crawled under her skin to reverse that.

She loved that, at first. It was awful to think about now, but she _loved_ that he wouldn't let her go. She loved that he would bug her until she gave in. That was _endearing_ to her, once upon a time.

She missed that.

"I don't know what you want me to say," she said, tapping her foot. Really, it'd be better if they could just get this over with. She needed to keep on moving forward. There'd be no progress if they just kept on building their love up until it broke apart. Again.

"Say that this is wrong," he offered, giving her a small smile. She couldn't bring herself to return it. "Say that we should try to find each other again. Say that we have something."

This time, Hermione was able to give him a small smile back. It was like there was a layer of ice over her heart and with every word Ron said, it cracked and began to melt.

Still, she didn't want to give in. There was a big part of her that was scared that they would repair their relationship just to have it fall apart. How could she be sure that they'd be okay?

"And how do I know that we'd be able to restore what we had?" she asked Ron, voicing her thoughts.

Ron looked at the office door, his eyes going everywhere.

"You don't," he responded simply. That was reassuring. Hermione shook her head in exasperation, sighing. "Aren't you a Gryffindor, though?" Hermione shrugged, not seeing the point in Ron's question. He _knows_ what house she was in at Hogwarts.

"What's your point, Ronald?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. He looked up to the ceiling, as if he was trying to choose his words carefully.

"I still love you," he repeated, making Hermione wince, "and I don't want this to end."

"This?" Hermione asked, narrowing his eyes at him. What 'this' did they still have? It felt like so long ago that she loved him. Would there ever be something else there for them?

"What we had," he said. "What we _still_ have. What we can get back. I don't know if we'll be able to, I'll admit, but I do know that you're worth the risk."

Hermione hesitated, looking Ron in the eyes. He seemed genuine, like he really wanted to try with her. Maybe she would try with him, if only for their children. There was a fear in her heart, but she tried to push it away. Ron did have a point – she was supposed to be a brave Gryffindor.

Ron took her hand and gave it a quick squeeze, looking right back at her. Maybe she needed to take this chance. Maybe they should've tried together in the first place. Maybe this would work.

She squeezed back.


End file.
